Stunning Advice

The Press have hit on dire times with cut-backs ‘cross the board
The copywriters’ keyboard no more ‘mightier than sword’
They’ve cut right back on adjectives: I swear, it must be true
‘Stunning’ is all they’ve left to use and they only had a few

We’ve stunning cliffs and waterfalls, relentless stunning views
‘Stunning high achievers’ in the ‘stunning breaking news’
Stunning curtains, stunning kitchens, stunning lounge or bath or bed?
Furnishings aren’t stunning unless they hit you in the head

Stunning artworks, stunning voices and abundant stunning style
Stunning prices, stunning value with a cheesy stunning smile!
Stunning restaurants and locations, stunning service, stunning meals
Stunning memories will be served with our incessant stunning deals

Stunning fashion, stunning passion fill our magazines, again
Stunning beauty, stunning lashes, stunning models stunning men
Stunning features, stunning creatures driving super-stunning cars
Stunning gossip, stunning glory of celebrities and stars

Stunning flowers, stunning gardens, stunning birds, kids, jewellery, weather
‘The colour and design work simply stunningly together!’
Exhausted by such flagrant, hackneyed, stunning overuse
I consulted my Macquarie, checking up on proper use

Stunning is good for cattle when they’re heading off to slaughter
Be stunned by revelations of your wayward teenage daughter
When rocks are falling on your head or lightning strikes you twice
These are situations stunning suits and will suffice

Just a few more words for journo’s, copywriters, press,
‘Spectacular’ and ‘amazing’ both are used to great excess
Try: exquisite, awe-inspiring, quirky, funky, snazzy, chic
Character-filled, enchanting, captivating, rare, unique

Classy, stylish, zany, peerless, cheekily designed
Rustic, classic, lush, attractive, cheerful, grand, refined
Be creative with your language use; be clever, clear and cunning
But please desist, I must insist, in further use of stunning